In the March 2018 issue of aBr I was presumptuous enough to give Cyril Ramaphosa advice on the size of his cabinet, and even more presumptuous to suggest who should not be there, starting with Malusi Giggle Gigaba, and a list that I promised to reveal in this issue.
Many of my readers have questioned why aBr, as a trade publication, should dabble in the arcane world of politics. The answer lies in the title of aBr – Automotive Business Review, with the emphasis on business. No matter whether a business operates in South Africa, China, America, Europe, or even Myanmar, the effectiveness of that business will be greatly affected by the ruling party, and the politics of that party. Business and politics are intimately intertwined, and we just can’t get away from this fact. That is why aBr delves into this mysterious and complicated subject. Now, back to my list.
I write this on the morning of 27 February 2018, having just digested the cabinet reshuffle announced at 22h00 the previous night. I am heartened to see that Giggle Gigaba has been removed from the finance portfolio, and replaced by a clean and competent person. But I am equally aghast that Gigaba has returned to home affairs, as this pompous pumped up prick caused massive damage when he was previously there, screwing up our tourism industry with the implementation of ridiculous visa requirements, whilst merrily dishing out naturalisation to anyone with the Gupta surname. But I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies, because imagine if he was returned to public enterprises, to enable him to once again impose Gupta cronies on all the parastatal boards.
I am also heartened by the axing of many of the names on my list, including Des van Rooyen, David Mahlobo, Mosebenzi Zwane, Fikile Mbalula, Lynne Brown, Faith Muthambi, and Bongani Bongo. But why in heaven’s name retain idiots like Bathabile Dlamini, Nomvula Water-on-the-Brain Mokonyane, and Maite Hole-in-the-Head Nkoana-Mashabane, in the cabinet. In smaller portfolios admittedly, but the retention of Dlamini boggles the mind. Dlamini was a total disaster at social development, with a very strange relationship with Cash Paymaster Services, and an even stranger relationship with Johnny Walker. The only explanation for these retentions is that CR had to take into account the vile internal politics of the ANC, and the need for balanced gender representation, but surely he could have found better material, even in the morally bankrupt ANC.
And there are more strange appointments, which I once again can only ascribe to internal ANC wrangling and horse trading. Bheki Shoot-to-Kill Cele as police minister? Eish, this buffoon was found guilty of maladministration by a Chapter Nine institution! Good grief, what does he have on CR? And the appointment of David World-Cup-Backhanders Mabuza as deputy president is very scary. Someone who is accused of corruption, theft, and even murder; just a heartbeat away from the presidency sends shivers down my spine.
However, the die is cast, and let us just be thankful that the clean out of the stables has begun, and let us assume that there are very good reasons for these strange appointments. It is the first step, with a long way to go. Cutting down the cabinet and their bloated appendages to size must now become a matter of urgency, as well as cleansing the top six of Gupta corrupted individuals, such as Jessie Driving-without-a-Licence Duarte and Ace Estina-Dairy-Farm Magashule. After that Shaun the Sheep Abrahams must be removed as national prosecuting head, and public protector Busisiwe Head-in-the-ANN7sand Mkhwebane has to be given short shrift.
Once this filth has been swept out of the stables, the new era can truly begin. The ball is in your court, Cyril. Next month, I shall return to my suggestions on how to cut the enormous costs of our bloated ship of state.